Yowzer
April 17, 2004 - 10:59 a.m.
What a con ver sa tion that was.
Oh my, oh my, oh my!
So did I have that talk with hubby last night?
NO! Why not you might ask and what was all that stuff you began with?
He was asleep when I went in to talk to him. Asleep? Yes, asleep. In the middle of the bed, (no problem I sleep on the couch) on top of the covers, still in his clothes, asleep! Guess all that �housework� wore him out yesterday.
Housework you ask? (Don�t you just love my conversations with me telling you what to say?!)
Yes, housework. He did all of the laundry yesterday, yep, every last dirty item. AND he vacuumed the family room rug, did all the dishes except the 2 cookie sheets that have to be hand washed and straightened things up.
I wasn�t too kind to him on the phone yesterday and I think he was trying to smooth things over. Did I ooh and aah when I got home over his marvelous work. Yeah right, just the same as he does for me every time I do these things!
So this morning he�s getting ready to leave for the race and I tell him we need to talk. Okay, I�ve got a little time he says to me. Well that�s part of the problem I say. I�m tired of having to fit into your racing schedule.
I�m not going to bore you with all the �he said� �she said� stuff but he left an hour later, late to the shop, and as long as he doesn�t forget the conversation we might stand a chance.
Can you believe that he was clueless that I had a break down? I told him that in and of it self spoke volumes about what I was trying to explain to him. How could he live in this house and not know? The kids knew for crying out loud.
I was really afraid of making him feel lousy so I was careful to mention that even though I�m mad as hell at him, I remind myself of all his good qualities. That�s when the �housework� came up! I told him of course I had noticed and appreciated it, but when was the last time he said something to me about doing it.
Of course his niece�s visit came up and I did my best to explain why it�s a problem to me. I even told him what his sister said. His viewpoint is that if it were him, he�d want to spend his last day with family doing things so he doesn�t understand my problem with it. That led to further discussions of our differences and how it frustrates me that after all these years he still doesn�t know me.
I brought up that we have nothing in common and he says I�m wrong! Of course he�d say that, we don�t see eye to eye on anything! He says we both like the outdoors. Hm, this is interesting. He says we both like to work in the yard. HUH? When have we ever both worked in the yard? He continued by saying that we always have the doors and windows open so it has to be true!
Men! I swear they see things the way they want them to be. Who else would come up with that but a man? Blows my mind it does!
So anyway, I feel better that I got a lot of this off my chest and only used one four letter word (okay I used it twice) and didn�t raise my voice once. I cried a lot, but then I�ve always been a crier and that never has fazed him.
He did ask what he could do to make me feel worthwhile and loved and I told him I didn�t have a clue. Seriously I don�t. I just know that at 42 years old, I am sick of feeling this way and I�m going to do something about it.
I�ll share some other parts of our conversation later because really they were quite enlightening, but now I have to go buy some diet food for Diva. She�s one fat cat! Oh yeah, she was brought up too! Gotta run. See ya.
Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you
Shelli