The Month After Christmas
January 13, 2007 - 3:17 p.m.
I just got this as an email from a friend and thought it just too perfect not to share. Have a super weekend while I hide out in my bedroom.
The Month After Christmas
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cakes and the pies, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt 
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll only chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore ...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! 
Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you
Shelli